Describing Behavior: The Key to Positive Outcomes
In both personal and professional settings, how we describe behavior can significantly impact the outcome of our interactions. By focusing on specific behaviors rather than making judgments or assumptions, we can foster clearer communication and more constructive resolutions.
How to Describe Behavior Without Judgment
Describing behavior involves reporting specific, observable actions without placing value on them as right or wrong, good or bad. Here’s how to do it effectively:
- Be Specific: Use clear and concise language to describe what you observed.
- Avoid Generalizations: Refrain from using words like “always” or “never.”
- Focus on Actions, Not Traits: Describe what the person did, not what you think their actions say about their character.
Benefits of Describing Behavior
- Reduces Defensiveness: When feedback is specific and non-judgmental, people are less likely to become defensive.
- Improves Understanding: Clear descriptions help others understand exactly what behavior is being addressed.
- Facilitates Problem-Solving: Focusing on behaviors makes it easier to discuss solutions and improvements.
Practical Examples
- Poor Example: “You’re so rude.”
- Better Example: “The last two times I tried to speak, you interrupted me before I finished.”
- Poor Example: “You always dominate the conversation.”
- Better Example: “In our last meeting, you spoke for most of the time and didn’t leave much room for others to contribute.”
Call to Action
Think about a recent conflict you experienced and describe the behavior involved without judgment. Share your example in the comments below and let us know how this approach helped resolve the conflict.