Three Questions That Can Change Your Life

Every now and then, life asks us to slow down.

Not because we’ve failed.

Not because we’re lost.

But because it’s time to make sure we’re still headed in the right direction.

Over the years, I’ve come back to the same three questions again and again. They’ve helped me through deployments, career transitions, leadership roles, injuries, business decisions, and seasons of uncertainty.

They’re simple enough to fit on an index card, yet powerful enough to shape a lifetime.

1. Who am I?

This isn’t about your job title or the roles you play.

It’s about your identity.

Who are you when no one is watching? What do you stand for? What values guide your decisions when the easy choice and the right choice aren’t the same?

Many people spend more time building a résumé than building character.

The truth is, our identity isn’t defined by what we say. It’s reinforced by what we repeatedly do.

If you want to become someone different, don’t wait for a dramatic transformation. Start practicing the habits that person would practice today.

2. How am I?

We often ask this question as a greeting, but rarely as a genuine act of reflection.

Take a moment and answer honestly. The Paper Plate Activity is a great tool for this.

How is your physical health?

How is your emotional well-being?

How are your relationships?

How are you sleeping?

How is your sense of purpose?

How are your finances?

How is your environment?

How are you doing, really?

Self-awareness is the foundation of growth. You can’t improve what you’re unwilling to acknowledge.

This is one of the reasons I believe in Comprehensive Fitness. It reminds us that our lives are interconnected. When one domain struggles, the others often feel the effects.

3. What do I really want?

Not what sounds impressive.

Not what someone else expects of you.

Not what social media tells you to chase.

What do you really want?

Clarity creates momentum.

When you know what matters most, it’s easier to say no to distractions and yes to opportunities that align with your values.

You don’t need a perfect five-year plan. You just need enough clarity to take the next right step.

Bringing It All Together

These three questions work best together.

Who am I? keeps you grounded in your values.

How am I? keeps you aware of your current reality.

What do I really want? keeps you moving toward a meaningful future.

I’ve found that when I revisit these questions regularly, I make better decisions, build stronger relationships, and stay more aligned with the person I’m trying to become.

The answers will change over time, and that’s okay.

The important thing is to keep asking.

Because growth isn’t about becoming someone else.

It’s about becoming more intentionally yourself.